This week we have an interesting range of topics. From the dynamics of having sex in space to plans of London’s first blowjob cafe. There’s also a dildo duck and the modesty of Michelangelo’s David in Russia.

The Dynamics of having sex in space

If anyone remembers, a while back Pornhub tried to crowdfund a mission into space to shoot the first ever space porno. Sadly the mission never took off as they didn’t reach their astronomical $3,400,00 goal.

Even if they had, it seems that the mechanics to having sex in space would have been an even bigger obstacle, one no one has tried climbing. Contrary to almost all sci-fi films and books, sex in anti-gravity just isn’t practical.

The first problem you face is the fact when two objects come together in anti-gravity, they push each other away. Obviously flying to the other side of the room every time you try penetration isn’t ideal. To tackle this writer Vana Bonta created the 2Suit which is basically a space suit that velcros two people together. In a documentary she tries demonstrates in a zero-gravity chamber, but was only able to get to first base.

But even if you were to make some sort of space love capsule to keep the two partners together, there’s a lot of doubt about having space babies. If we want to colonise in space, we’re going to need space babies. Experiments are currently limited to insects, jellyfish and rats in space. The rats, which are closest to humans in biology, showed abnormal embryo development.

No one has plans to research sex in space, nor space babies any time soon. Even the manned mission to mars set for 2030 shows to no plan to look at colonisation. I still firmly believe that humans will one day colonise space, just not anytime soon.

Full story here

London’s first blowjob cafe

As any London resident could tell you, a coffee in London can get pretty expensive. Bradley Charvet however is determined to sell London’s most expensive coffee yet. It’ll cost you £50, but comes with a side of fellatio.

Charvet already has plans to open a cafe with the same theme in Geneva in December. The difference is that prostitution is completely legal, with brothels being labeled as massage parlours. Whilst it’s sort of legal in the UK, it will be a lot hard to get permits for the cafe.

London recently opened up an entirely naked restaurant which has been praised by critics across the board. Granted the restaurant was very strictly non-sexual. It proves that there’s a demand for more open and risqué establishments in the capitol city.

 

Notable around the web

Dildo duck spotted

Russians to vote on covering up Michelangelo’s David

Ariana Grande’s donut-licking cost her a gig at White House, WikiLeaks reveals

Inventor patents sex robot design that uses men’s grunts and groans to tailor its rhythms

  • All I’ll say is that I can be pretty confident that sex in space is already happening, after-all there are modules that generate their own gravity (similar to 2001 Space Odyssey)

    I can also pretty much guarantee that London of all places will not be getting a blowjob cafe. We don’t even have those in the US legally. There is simply no way that the more conservative London, or even UK is going to sanction it with permits. Hell, England is the country that puts restictions on its porn dvd imports/exports. Brexit only makes these issues more complicated as while the EU may regulate some forms of “sex work” a Brexit England is going to revert back to its more conservative roots. Though a cafe would be an interesting concept; I’m not much of a coffee drinker but I can’t say I’d turn down a blowjob (well there were a few times)

    • Harriet Sugarcookie

      People have been pretty adamant that sex in space hasn’t happened. Even when they sent up that married couple, they reported not being able to do it. It’s not just gravity, it’s also finding the time. It’s also work, and mixing work and pleasure is often frowned upon, especially by NASA. It could make the difference between life and death.

  • NeilW

    Sex in space – it’s a matter of a) getting to grips with Newton’s equal and opposite reaction business (Velcro attachments might help) and b) having a copulation space without buttons, knobs and levers which do things if you bounce off them. It’s doable, just requires planning and possibly equipment.

    Blowjob café – all I can think of is froth on coffee.

    Dildo duck – should have gone to Specsavers.

    David’s willy – I despair. Why do people think bodies are dirty?

    Ariana Grande donut licking – she should come here and try licking doughnuts instead.

    Robot responding to grunts – I suppose the credibility of this depends on how much you regard fucking a robot as a worthwhile expenditure of effort. And money. Not my place to voice any opinion other than my own, which is “I wouldn’t, therefor this idea does not float my boat.”