One of the biggest arguments used against watching porn is that it causes addiction and over masturbation is harmful. I don’t believe this is porn’s fault, but we do have to ask “How much masturbation is too much?”

Masturbation first and foremost is natural. It’s not only natural, it’s also normal. So if you’re worried you’re doing something immoral, you can strike that thought right off. There’s a lot of people, who for the life of me I can’t figure out, don’t want people to masturbate; even though it’s non of their business.

So exactly how much masturbation¬†is too much? I don’t think it’s something you can really put a number on, because like alcohol, it’s not black and white. What might be too much for one person, might be ok for someone else. It all depends on how it affects you and your life, in the same way alcohol does.

For instance, I masturbate something like 3 times a day. To a lot of people, that would be considered too much. For me however, it doesn’t impact my life negatively to do so. It’s also slightly different for girls than guys, because girls don’t have a “cool down” time until we can go again.

How can you tell you’re masturbating too much? Firstly, look at when you masturbate. If you’re masturbating first thing in the morning, last thing at night, that’s pretty normal. If you’re masturbating first thing in the morning and it causes you to be late to work/school repeatedly, you should probably stop that.

If you’re masturbating before bed because it helps you sleep, that’s very common. If you’re up all night watching porn to the point that you’re severely tired the next day, that’s a problem.

If you find yourself needing to masturbate at times where you personally feel is inappropriate then that’s also a problem. I’m not saying the occasional wank in the office toilet stall on your lunch break, but if you’re taking breaks at random times to beat off then that might be too much. If it has an obvious negative effect on the quality of your life then that is too much.

It all depends on self awareness. Masturbation can be an addiction, often linked to porn addiction. An addiction can affect your life in numerous ways, and if you can’t hold off the craving you might be sacrificing other aspects of your life to fulfil the need to masturbate.

Do you notice if your social life is affected by it? For instance, if you cancel on meeting friends, or not meet at all, because you would rather be at home masturbating then that’s a sign that you’re masturbating too much.

Another important thing to consider is the negative physical effects of over masturbation. Masturbating obviously effects your sexual actives later on, and some people have used it as a method to last longer in bed. There are a lot of cases however that because of over masturbating, guys can’t get it up when the time comes. Then there are those that can get it up, but are unable to climax without doing it themselves.

For the latter problem, it could be because of sensitivity. If you are gripping yourself too hard when you masturbate, you penis will become used to that sensation and pressure. No vagina can grip your penis with the same strength your hand can, so when it comes to normal intercourse, your penis isn’t getting the stimulation it needs and you are therefore unable to climax. Luckily, the penis has a fairly short memory, and to fix this problem, you just need to completely stop masturbating for a while.

Girls are also prone to over masturbation, but I’ve found with girls, it’s normally the clitoris that is affected, rather than the vagina. Much like the penis, it becomes accustomed to a certain amount of pressure or strength for full stimulation. You can ask your partner if they regularly use vibrators or their fingers on their clit (you can ask in a sexy way) and if they do, then you should focus on stimulating their clit as well during sex as it will help them climax.

So yes, there is a point when you are masturbating too much, but only you can really decide. If there is an addiction and you haven’t noticed, if it gets really bad then friends or family will probably mention it. Otherwise just try to decide if it has a big impact on your work, social life or other sexual activities. You can ween yourself off masturbating, or go cold turkey. Different people deal with it in different ways, but there’s nothing wrong with simply cutting back. After all, masturbating is completely normal and natural.

  • NeilW

    Good post, much common sense. I particularly like that it is completely non-judgemental, albeit that’s as it should be of course! (I hope you will embark on some discussion of different conceptions of “morality” as regards sexual activity at some point).

    The psychology of masturbation can be interesting – most of the time, as you say, completely normal, but might it sometimes be worrying that it is something impersonal, and substitutes for the intimacy within a relationship?