Harriet looking confused Everyone has had a phase in their relationship when they’ve felt that they haven’t spent enough time with their partner. There are actually many reasons as to why you might ask yourself “How do I get my girlfriend to spend more time with me?” but the solutions much simpler than you might imagine

 

We’ve just started dating, I’m more into her than she is into me

 

This is the first reason. Sometimes when you start seeing someone, you realise that you’re a lot more into that person than they are into you. You worry that they don’t seem to want to spend as much time with you as you want to with them. So how exactly do you get them to want to see you more often?

  1. Try not to come across as too clingy. This can be seen as desperate and at the start of a relationship it can scare away your partner.
  2. Try not to be too distant. On the other end of the spectrum is if you’re self conscious about yourself so you try to act cool. Acting too cool can make you seem disinterested and your partner may be acting disinterested themselves in response to your attitude.
  3. Invite them to things you both have an interest in. For instant, there is something that you think she will enjoy but you know you won’t – you invite her because you think she’ll agree. However when you two go, she’ll know you’re not enjoying yourself and will be put off going to events in the future.
  4. Plan interesting dates. Putting efforts into planning your date makes a difference. They don’t have to be crazy, a nice route through the park works perfectly well. Group outings with mutual friends can also be an option to spending more time with your partner.

We have been together a long time and she is always busy with other things

 

When you have been together with someone for a long time, you can get into a routine and a rut. Other things in life start to take priority, such as work or children. It’s easy then to start feeling neglected by your partner.

  1. Try communicating your feelings. Sometimes people don’t realise that a simple talk can fix seemingly big problems. When you’re caught up in work and life you might not realise that you’re not spending as much time with your partner and so you just need to be reminded.
  2. Do date night. Date night sounds cliched but it really does help to set a time out that you and your partner can get excited for. It means that the idea of spending time together is in both of your minds and you put extra effort into looking good and acting better.
  3. Take your partner away on a secret retreat. Your partner might be overwhelmed or stressed out and thus have less chance to think about you. It might help to take them out and get them to relax. It’s important to have quality “me” time in your relationship and also show that you’re there to support them.
  • NeilW

    Relationships aren’t easy and, as ever, you give sound advice (and, as ever, it is annoyingly offered by someone who is of an age when they should be a flighty fluffhead incapable of accepting such advice, never mind giving it!). But I’m pleased to note that you missed a key bit, which I will offer now, and that is Tolerance.
    There is a point where a relationship changes to a Relationship – where a bit of fun moves towards something longer term – and, harking back to your recent Moving In Together piece, there are compromises and accommodations to be reached. And making those compromises, adjusting the spaces between the two (or three, or more, I suppose) of you never stops. If it does stop, then that is one of the things which puts a strain on the relationship. So, yes, take steps to address the feelings of being neglected, but also try to arrive at an understanding that we’re all under different pressures which sometimes push us in directions our partners may not like, and try to be tolerant about the effects.
    In the film Cat Ballou, one of the characters looks at the drunk Kid Sheleen (Lee Marvin) and says “Your eyes look terrible.” Sheleen replies “You should see ’em from my side.” I try to keep that in mind. And I know that I fail more often than I succeed.

  • NeilW

    Relationships aren’t easy and, as ever, you give sound advice (and, as ever, it is annoyingly offered by someone who is of an age when they should be a flighty fluffhead incapable of accepting such advice, never mind giving it!). But I’m pleased to note that you missed a key bit, which I will offer now, and that is Tolerance.
    There is a point where a relationship changes to a Relationship – where a bit of fun moves towards something longer term – and, harking back to your recent Moving In Together piece, there are compromises and accommodations to be reached. And making those compromises, adjusting the spaces between the two (or three, or more, I suppose) of you never stops. If it does stop, then that is one of the things which puts a strain on the relationship. So, yes, take steps to address the feelings of being neglected, but also try to arrive at an understanding that we’re all under different pressures which sometimes push us in directions our partners may not like, and try to be tolerant about the effects.
    In the film Cat Ballou, one of the characters looks at the drunk Kid Sheleen (Lee Marvin) and says “Your eyes look terrible.” Sheleen replies “You should see ’em from my side.” I try to keep that in mind. And I know that I fail more often than I succeed.