This week has been a very silly week for sex in the news, with no real scandals for me to report. I like silly however, and I felt a couple of the articles should go hand in hand.

man dressed as giant penis sprays glitter on people at the beach in norway

Norway is being terrorised by a giant penis that sprays glitter.

Of course this is a prank, but unlike many other penis related pranks, this one surprisingly isn’t sexual harassment. Instead it’s a new and fun way to educate people on safe sex, because we all know, if you practice safe sex the world congratulates you by spurting glitter from your penis.

‘Giant butt’ touring U.S. to bring ‘randomness’ to ‘bleak world’

What better to match an oversized penis but an oversized butt? For those of you who like big butts, you can now look out for this giant one which is touring the USA in the hopes of cheering people up. It’s certainly random, butt I wonder if these kind of jokes are a bit behind the times? They’re not ass-ing around at least!

Man masturbates behind Halifax building after failed attempt to climb it

You can tell it’s been a slow news week when a man randomly masturbating in the streets gets reported. I’m sure that there are many people that masturbate behind many buildings each and everyday, but the police are specifically looking for this one who had also attempted to climb it. You know what they say, if at first you don’t succeed, go beat one out in the alleyway.

Should brain-damaged serial masturbator get life in prison? Appeals court says no (poll)

The law is certainly taking masturbating seriously though, since you can get life in prison for it. Of course, this case is special since the man in question won’t stop doing it in front of women and young children, I certainly think it’s something for the doctors rather than prison wardens to figure out.

  • NeilW

    Safe sex is always a good message to spread, so no criticism necessary. On the subject of oversized bits (your first and second items), let me give a shout out to the stop-motion Penisaurus in Flesh Gordon, an amusing moment in a film which should have been much better than it was and, of course, the giant breast which marauded across the country in Woody Allen’s Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex*But Were Afraid To Ask (a film which you ought to catch, Harriet, if you haven’t – a bit hit and miss, but Gene Wilder is hysterical, and the final scene is a clear inspiration for Inside Out – WHICH YOU HAVEN’T REVIEWED YET).
    Incidentally, don’t think your puns went unnoticed BUT OCKSidentals ASSume it’s not necessary to get to the BOTTOM of such things of BOOTY, being REARed better (for proof, see my childhood pictures in the photo album). I’ll stop now. And I’m not suggesting that you weren’t reared properly, Harriet. Or that you don’t have a perfect rear.
    Why would someone want to climb a Halifax building? Perhaps he was having a wank to make up for having failed to do so, an obvious consolation measure.
    And then there’s a serious one. I hate people who take kids’ innocence away. There is an interesting discussion to be had here about the age of consent (a legal necessity, I submit, although it is always going to be a trap for those who mature early). I was late, I get the impression you were probably early, Harriet, but the key issue is whether physical maturity is matched with mental maturity (I recall a wonderfully endowed girl in my class aged 12). Not sure this is the place to discuss that, but I’m not sure there is anywhere else to discuss it either.