In previous blog posts I’ve given tips on how to last longer in bed, and how to use your fingers to make a climax – but I’ve had a few requests asking about turn-ons for women. To some, this may seem very obvious, but there’s often things that men overlook. So here is a quick and simple guide on how to turn women on.

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Shared looks, smiles and jokes

When you’re out, make occasional eye contact with your partner and hold eye contact for a little bit longer than normal. There are some things that eyes can portray that you can’t with words. Lift your mouth in a half smile, almost like a smirk. The expression is intimate and often makes the girl wobbly at the knees. When you’re with a group of friends, when jokes have been made and everyone’s laughing, make sure to make eye contact with your partner. Studies have shown that we automatically look at our person of interest in these situations, but by making eye contact with your partner on purpose whilst the group is laughing, it’s as if you’re sharing the joke just between the two of you. It’s an easy way to slip in intimacy whilst with other people, and that can be a pretty big turn-on.

Subtle public displays of affection

I’ll be the first to tell you I’m not a big fan of PDA. I also hate seeing people eating face on the street. I show much more affection in the privacy of my own room. However there’s subtle ways of showing affection in public, and they can be pretty big turn-ons. When you’re with a woman it’s ok to be a little bit possessive, and making your girl feel good about herself, showing her that you want her – that’s a big win. Examples of how to do this would be making the occasional physical contact. Touch her wrist – an often forgotten erogenous zone for women. Place your hand on the small of her back when you guys walk through a door, or before helping her sit down on a chair. Touch her arm to get her attention, or divert her attention to someone else. By making these small physical contact you’re making your claim on her, without french kissing her in public. It also serves as a reminder to her that you want her, that you find her attractive.

Make noise during foreplay and sex

The first rookie mistake I think the majority of guys make is being silent. This is a sort of conditioning I find men go through, that being stoic is how a man should be. However by showing a  positive response to your partner, your partner is more likely to show a positive response to you. Men are just as prone to dead fish syndrome as women are. I personally love it when a guy makes noise, moaning, aggressive huffing or just short, quiet bursts of primal noise. If you sound like you’re loving what you’re doing, it makes the girl feel more confident in herself and that’ll help her enjoy everything much more. It’s surprising how many guys don’t realise noises can be such huge turn ons for women!

Be passionate during sex

This might sound like a very obvious thing to say, but like the silent lover, many men play down how excited their woman makes them. Imagine one day you meet up with your girlfriend, she’s insanely turned on, she kisses you as soon as she sees you, she can’t stop touching you, she keeps trying to take your clothes off, is kissing you all over… Hot right? That’s because she is showing you how much she wants you with her body language. This goes both ways. The key is making your girl know you want her, this is verbally but also physically. You love her body? Show it! Be constantly touching her, all of her, not just the breasts and ass! Constantly kiss her – areas women are extra sensitive include the neck, wrists, ears (nibble those!) and trail your tongue down her belly…

Tease Tease Tease

If you want to really turn your girl on, turn her on to the point where she looks like she’s going to explode? Then you’ve got to tease her. Give her lots of attention, pull back, give her everything but what she wants! A good way of thinking about it is the “Jekyll and Hyde” – one moment you’re going fast and hard, touching her everywhere, kissing her roughly – then switch to gentle caresses, slowly, teasing strokes, gentle feather kisses all along her body. Keep swapping between these two. If you’re wondering how long to do each for, or when you should be switching, then the best indicator is her. Is she getting used to what you’re doing? Is she getting a little too comfy? Switch it up.